About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I FOUND THE LEGS
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
