margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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