I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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