When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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