My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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