Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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