So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
