I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize