I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
