their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
