Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
