I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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