My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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