The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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