Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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