Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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