I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Every concussion has its silver lining
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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