I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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