Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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