You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize