Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We are two peas in an std pod
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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