Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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