It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
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Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
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I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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