the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
