More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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