I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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