You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
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Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize