i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
