remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
