State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I have already put on my inside pants.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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