After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
