Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
