I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
