either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
