My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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