i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
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