I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
