Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Randomize
