Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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