Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Randomize