I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
