You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
