I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
