Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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