Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.

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  (248): I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/icyg
  Replies (11) Good night (1188) Bad night (2470) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?

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  (540): i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic? http://tfl.nu/pwuf
  Replies (50) Good night (4450) Bad night (624) Order T-Shirt
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good

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  (863): I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good http://tfl.nu/hwo6
  Replies (14) Good night (4852) Bad night (1065) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  You would...

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  (204): So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone. (1-204): You would... http://tfl.nu/ljy4
  Replies (14) Good night (1008) Bad night (3371) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.

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  (705): Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night. http://tfl.nu/58lp
  Replies (18) Good night (929) Bad night (3904) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights

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  (812): woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights http://tfl.nu/5oxk
  Replies (16) Good night (1021) Bad night (2617) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor

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  (780): A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor http://tfl.nu/h37q
  Replies (14) Good night (2558) Bad night (864) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"

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  (585): I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome" http://tfl.nu/e453
  Replies (4) Good night (4432) Bad night (756)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.

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  (604): He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there. http://tfl.nu/lavl
  Replies (10) Good night (1917) Bad night (500) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.

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  (757): I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass. http://tfl.nu/p1y3
  Replies (19) Good night (2653) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up

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  (903): Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up http://tfl.nu/zu39
  Replies (5) Good night (1082) Bad night (416)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW

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  (956): Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW http://tfl.nu/0qym
  Replies (8) Good night (1249) Bad night (295) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.

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  (205): It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots. http://tfl.nu/unba
  Replies (4) Good night (1036) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?

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  (816): This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head. (1-816): Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!" (573): Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I? http://tfl.nu/8ei3
  Replies (8) Good night (1387) Bad night (326)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?

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  (202): I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right? http://tfl.nu/xedt
  Replies (3) Good night (624) Bad night (204) Order T-Shirt

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