im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
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And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
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when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?