great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.