why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀