is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.