yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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