I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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