I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
