Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
