How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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