imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
