I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize