i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so let's talk penis.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
