Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
and she was petting her beer can
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
