when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
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I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
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I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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