Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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