Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
